S n' T

Always prepare and properly supply for a zombie outbreak.

Let's say that the unthinkable happened. All of a sudden, one day, the zombie outbreak commences and you are left vulnerable to the zombies. What do you have to fight them? Your team of friends and some kick-[censored] weapons! Listed here is a list of weapons (all are durable enough to be used as bludgeons without misfiring or breaking) employed by the Blood Gulch Spartans to fight the undead freaks.

Multi-Use Machetes


"Swish, swish, death! And stab, stab, stab!" -Tucker

See these? These are an assortment of knives and machetes. Not only do they sever the top halves of zombies' heads, they also fare well in cutting wood and hacking through thick plant life. The knife has a 6 inch blade, while the machetes have (from left to right) 12 inch, 15 inch, and 18 inch blades. They are all weighted nicely at 1, 2, 3, and 3.5 pounds for mobility and have Grade-A titanium for getting the job done.

Death in a Pocket (PM-150)


"So cute!" -Donut

Now let's assume that you are in a narrow hallway when a zombie jumps you. What do you do? Other weapons are too long to be of any use. However, this pistol is. Chambered at .45, weighing 3 pounds and an astonishing length of 5 inches, all you need to do is press the barrel on the zombie's chin (aimed to the brain) and fire. The integrated suppressor should make things nice and quiet.

Entering service in 2150 and seeing its popularity by assassins now and then, the PM-52 is a versatile weapon with insane accuracy, a very low chance of jamming (0.0043%) but moderate-high recoil. It was small enough to be hid in a jacket pocket, yet deadly enough to blow a fist-sized hole in anybody's face. It fired as fast as one could pull the trigger, and its effective range was 100 Meters. The PM-150 carries 10 bullets in its magazine.

Grease Gun (M3A2)

Modernized M3 SMG

"Dibs." -Church

Originally from the battlefields of WW2, Misriah Armory decided to revamp and improve the Grease Gun so it could be reused in the UNSC. Still chambered in .45, a length of 2-3 feet, but back in Olive Drab Green, the M3A2 fills up its targets with FMJ armor-piercing rounds at up to 200 meters with a fire rate of 1,000 RPM... or it can do it SILENTLY with its optional SILENCER! With little recoil and moderate accuracy, the Grease Gun got its well-earned popularity in... pretty much everywhere. It was a sign of telling people that old things can indeed be taught new tricks, or in this case more aspects of destruction. The M3A2's clip holds 20 bullets.

Lucky Shot (M345 DMR)


"Payback's a [censored], and so is this." -Tex on using the M552 DMR

The M345 DMR was rumored to be so accurate it could snipe the individual letters from a book up to 900 meters away, so it was the primary rifle of many armies from time to time, and perhaps the second best weapon suited for killing zombies (first is the 15-inch titanium-blade machete). Obviously the victim of bad coloration, this DMR is 3-4 feet long, weighs 8 pounds, comes with an optional silencer and detachable scope, chambered in 7.62x54mm, has a magazine that can carry up to 10 bullets at once, is extremely accurate, but has a bad case of extreme recoil. It saw its widespread use from 2345 to 2557 by multiple armies, mercenaries, and assassins.

Spammalicious, Cone, Spammalicious Cone, Conelike Spammer (SA552)


"Protect me, cone!" -Grif

A completely unique weapon, featuring Sarge's engineering. Since Sarge's engineering makes German Engineering look like the work of Grif, this weapon  was immediately put into use by all branches of the UNSC and Insurrectionists. The SA552 was a great descendent of the SA80 with many improvements, including adjustable rate of fire (from 460 RPM to 1,100 RPM), an attachable suppressor, and even a device that can adjust the rifle's bullet spread from a "lead laser" to a wide cone of bullets, giving it the nickname "Cone" by Grif. It weighs 13 pounds and has a maximum range of 500 meters, with its trade-offs being increased recoil and deteriorating accuracy if one held the trigger down longer due to recoil, so therefore it is best to fire it in bursts of 3-5 rounds. The SA552 is chambered in the AK47's 7.62x39mm ammunition and can hold up to 30 rounds in its magazine.

Explosion Stick, Shotty (SCS- Sarge's Custom Shotgun)


"You just got Sarge'd!" -Sarge

Perhaps the most valuable weapon to use in close-quarters zombie encounters, Sarge's Custom Shotgun features Sarge's Engineering, a sight that can predict where the buckshot or slug will land (adjusts to wind, distance, and choke (if there is one attached)), and a built-in, adjustable electric choke. Also features an attachable silencer for doing all of this... in a whisper. The sight was designed by Simmons, red team's smartest member, and built by Sarge.

It is 3.5 feet long, 15 pounds, chambered in 8 gauge, and carries 8 shells/slugs in its magazine. The effective range for this weapon is 100 meters with buckshot, and 350 meters for slugs.

Anti-Everything Rifle (AERv2)


"Suck it, zombies!" -Simmons

It's a .50 caliber sniper rifle that can utterly [censored] up humans, aliens, zombies, lightly armored vehicles, and lightly armored aircraft. It can shoot a cup at 2,000 meters away accurately. Weighing 32 pounds, 4 feet long (4.5 with silencer equipped), carrying 5 bullets in its magazine, but a recoil so powerful it can dislocate arms if not held properly, the AERv2 is the ultimate tank stopper and zombie exploder.

Death itself, Anti-Everything RailGun (SRD552)



73 pounds.

6 feet long.

Maximum effective range of 10,000,000,000,000,000 meters.

6 shots.

And super accurate.

The SRD552 deserves a special place in the Blood Gulch arsenal for killing zombies. It was so effective that every single country, every single colony tried to get their hands on this design and replicate it for their own use. Sarge and Simmons sold the design to Misriah Armory for 60 billion USD and gave 20 billion USD to the blues. They divided the rest of the money amongst their team, the reds.

Anyways, what makes this weapon so valuable is simply because it can destroy pretty much everything, like vehicles, city buildings, gigantic spaceships, and armies of animals, humans, and zombies. The black canister in the back stored multiple 50mm slugs, and each slug is fed into the barrel in front of the firing pin. The rifling of the barrel is unique from other railguns because of the fact that there are 1,000 turns per nanometer. Around the barrel is a magnetic coil to speed up the projectile.

When it is fired, the slug rockets through the barrel at the speed of light, or 983571056 FeetPerSecond because of the powder in the slug's case. The instant the pin strikes the primer of the slug, an electrical signal is sent through the magnetic coil at the same speed and direction of the slug. This creates an extremely powerful electromagnet, an extremely powerful electromagnet that pulls the slug along even faster with much more force. Simmons used his extensive knowledge of physics to build a device that absorbs all the recoil of the weapon (when the recoil was tested on a zombie, the recoil was so great it ripped the zombie in half) and directed the energy from the recoil to the slug, propelling it EVEN FASTER WITH A CRAPLOAD OF MORE POWER. Combine this with the fact that the rifling in the barrel will dramatically increase the aerodynamic stabilization and accuracy of the projectile, you have a railgun that can destroy any vehicle ever made in one well-placed shot (the slug must strike the engine) and pass through one mile of the hardest material ever made as if it were air. The projectile at its fastest can go up to 100 times the speed of light, thought to be impossible by the laws of physics (NOT ANYMORE).

There are some downsides, however. Since of its high production cost ($100,000,000 per unit), only 10 were ever made (5 of them are owned by the Blood Gulch Spartans). It had over 1,552 parts and had to be properly maintained, and the weight and size of this weapon makes it impractical for concealment.


A zombie outbreak is something to be taken seriously. You need a group of trusted friends, proper equipment and training, and last but not least... the weapons. With these weapons, you can do much more than fend off the living dead. You can take over the world...

...a world now infested by the living dead.

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